Miss Marianne Faithfull:

Miss Marianne Faithfull:
(Born December 29, 1946; Capricorn) - Songs she inspired: She Smiled Sweetly, Let's Spend The Night Together, She's Like A Rainbow, You Can't Always Get What You Want, Wild Horses, I Got The Blues, 100 Years Ago, Winter

Miss Anita Pallenberg:

Miss Anita Pallenberg:
(Born January 25 or April 6, 1942) - Songs she inspired: You Got The Silver, Sister Morphine (words by Marianne), Wild Horses, Coming Down Again, Angie, Beast Of Burden, All About You

Monday, February 23, 2009

Graceless lady, you know who I am


When my last relationship had finally fallen to pieces, I wrote He Who Shall Not Be Named a very long letter. In this letter I detailed all of my grievances (which were nothing new, but needed reiterating), but more than anything, it was a plea, a last-gasp effort to make things work. After writing that, I knew I had done everything I could, verbalized my every thought and feeling and truly given all of myself. It was my "Wild Horses". In the letter's final line, I borrowed a quote from the infamous ballad and said, "Please don't let me slide through your hands" (Love, Leith). Obviously, this line was ineffective, because that's exactly what happened, but at least I'm in good company. You have to marvel at the man who let Ms. F slide through his.


In a typical overly dramatic Leith fashion, last night as I was driving home around 11 PM, soaring beneath the stars on an almost vacant George Washington Memorial Parkway (undoubtedly one of the most beautiful roads ever), I pulled off at one of the scenic overlooks. I put the Volvo's high beams on, and climbed over a little rock wall and down to the ledge of the slope above the plunging Potomac River. In my hand, in what felt like a hundred little pieces, were two photos from the past that I had sort of meticulously shredded. I opened my fist and let the wind carry them down.


Earlier last night, I watched The Shawshank Redemption, and believe it or not, it was my first time ever seeing it. When the elderly librarian at the prison is finally released after 50 years and goes out into the real world only to commit suicide soon after... I don't know, something about that was inexplicably moving. The idea that something horrible like prison becomes your identity, and when stripped of that, the only thing you have left, you feel like there's no where you belong. I think the same principle can apply to relationships. When I broke up with HWSNBN, a large part of me felt like now I had nothing, and that a broken relationship with someone I loved was better than it not existing at all. I regretted my decision, started doing the whole bargaining stage of grief (out of order though). I was so worried watching the film that Morgan Freeman's character Red was going to suffer the same fate as the old man and hang himself when he was released. But he took a chance and went to Mexico to join Tim Robbins and the movie had a happy ending. And that's what I'm going to have, too.

4 comments:

Twiggy Mod said...

BEAUTIFUL PICTURES.

and I love your words so much.

Never seen S.redem either! xxx

Platform Princess said...

So sad, but so true. At the risk of sounded like a single looney, I call myself a 'survivor'. The worst thing is thinking that being in a shiteous relationship is better than being by yourself. Been there done that, and now I know to love myself a whole lot more than I love the other person.

Love always,

PP x

kiki said...

that movie really made me think and question certain things...and ummmmmm i think i want a fringe after all those fringe pics :)

Dooder City said...

I am always dramatic...for the record.
Also, I love the Shawshank Redemption! I am so glad you saw it!